I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
