I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Randomize
