At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
