I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
