woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
