What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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