Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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