i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
try to milk me bitch
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