hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
