my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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