My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
