you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Watching her eat just hurts me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
