Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
