You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
