Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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