He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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