I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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