She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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