you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
