Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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