Don't you send me to vm
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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