You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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