Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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