I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
