Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
