where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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