Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
