Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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