like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
