is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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