I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
