Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
