I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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