could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
