whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
