Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
