Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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