You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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