Me too!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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