He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
