I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
