Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
