best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
me + whiskey = a bad person
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
