seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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