He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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