My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
