dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
