Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
