what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize