We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
