I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is Oprah even human
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
