My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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