How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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