I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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