do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
