I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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