i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
