I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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