u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
