i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
