no, he came in my armpit
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm at about main and main street
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
