ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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