in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
