Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
