I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My cat gives me a boner
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize