sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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