I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
